i just couldn't help this one...

so, this is one of my most favourite pictures of the boog.

it is in very close competition with this one:

thanks.

so, it's been a while since my last post. i am doing pretty well. i am not so very good at taking my medicine every day, but i am working much harder to make a concious effort to enjoy every minute of my day. hannah makes that pretty dang easy. although, she contributes heaps to the "making it pretty dang hard" catagory. i digress, she's amazing. not to mention my husband, who regularly works him self to the point of exaustion (big project at work these past few weeks) and then comes home and plays with the booger and helps me clean up the house. man. he is seriously the most amazing guy ever.
so, i was just wanting to say, "thanks, God. my life is truly, truly blessed. and i am totally sorry for being such a poop head."

oh, and here are some pics from a few months ago...the very first birthday and my rad husband.

adventures with hannah

ok, some newer pictures of the boog. but still quite a few months old...i'll get the hang of this one of these days.
first mohawk.
being restrained in the front yard (and looking extremely cute!)
being terribly naughty (and terribly funny)in the guest bathroom at "aunt sarah's" house.

words...

well, i haven't exactly written much here, except for blurbs about the photos i have posted. i am stepping out on a pretty big limb here (although it feels like it's pretty small and fragile), i am not a big fan of writing. it makes my head hurt. and most of the time, i don't feel much better when i'm done. a few days later maybe, but not when i finish.
i have been starting to follow some other "mom blogs" lately and have been really inspired. we'll see how far this burst of inspiration actually takes me...
it's 12:01 am, i should be sleeping. really. my husband is sleeping, my daughter is sleeping (huge smile!) and i am sitting here in front of the screen that makes my head hurt something fierce. i should be sleeping because the kid runs me ragged, like a manaic, who thinks this is the only moment she'll get to run around and get into everything she can possibly wrap her fantastic little mind around. don't get me wrong, she is the most amazing person, in line with my husband and my mother, but this child, this person, came out of me!! that puts her in a whole new category.
i don't want to make this very long...keep it short, don't burn yourself out, ash. i just thought i'd get the ball rolling.
(me giving ball a rather apprehensive push)
i have depression. is that how you say it? it's really the only way that it feels right to say it, for me.it's something that has been a part of me for quite a long time, like late elementary school. it reared it's ugly, and i mean ugly, head a little over 4 years ago. wow. what a roller coaster, but with no coasting, at all. it got a really scary hold on me and took me for a very steep, very dark ride. with the support of my parents (and lots of, "here are your socks, put them on. here are your shoes, put them on.) the direction of my life was able to move on a steady upward plane. over the course of the next three and a half years i have been all ove that ride. up, up, down, up, down, down, down, up, down, up, down...it's a little hard to keep track of now. i just hope for the normal days. i have been unmedicated (not very successful), medicated (much better results), in therapy (semi-productive...), not in therapy (semi-productive...), and just generally frustrated. it is so hard, so hard, to explain to people what is going on with me, the daily struggle. now matter how close i am to them, no matter how much i know they care about me and want to help me. if you haven't lived in this fantastic world, there's nothing to liken it to. nothing that i have run across, anyway.
sleep is approaching, i am waving my arms at it to get it to head in my direction. it seems to be responding to my efforts.
coming soon:
more words, 1st birthday and camping trip photos, and some random photos as well, because dang it, she is the cutest little maniac ever!

we miss jessie!

and josiah, too! we were supposed to go with debra and nehemiah to visit some friends in atascadero, but it was going to be too long of a trip. we had so much fun last time. josiah was a fantastic host. he showed hannah all around his room and shared his toys with her.
we can't wait to see you guys again!

this is my kid!!

she is such a nut. i love her so much, even though sometimes i feel like i am pulling out all of my hair. she really is fantastic.

first trip to the snow!

sorry if this too small to see well. this is hannah and daddy sledding in angelus oaks. (sp?) the little pink spot in the middle is hannah's beanie (on her head.)

we went with hannah's friend mckenna and her parents (our friends), rick and sabina. the babies had a great time in the snow, as did we. we are very much looking forward to next year's sledding season...