merry christmas.

well, december 25th has come and gone once again. i hope that everyone had a wonderful day, enjoying time with family and friends and remembering why we are celebrating in the first place.
we had a great time today...our own special christmas morning, just the three of us. a video phone call to mike's family in austin, which totally made their day! and a really nice time with my family, including scrabble and virtually allergy free (a big victory! yay for claritin!)

we had so much fun that we didn't take ANY pictures. seriously. ANY. how retarded! my mom has some and i will try to post them when i can. meanwhile, we are still working on our family picture for our christmas, i mean new year cards..and hopefully i'll be able to get that up soon.

so, once again, merry christmas everyone. enjoy your loved ones, where ever they are, and rememeber jesus, who left perfection to come to earth to die for our sins so we could be with him in perfection. talk about the best christmas gift EVER.

adventures with uncle josh.

last week, we got to spend the day hanging out with uncle josh (my brother). we had lunch with nana at her classroom (it was her last day of school before christmas break) and then went for a looooooonng walk. we did some shopping and stopped off at the coolest park we have ever been to. it had a mini playground, just hannah's size! she had so much fun, climbing the stairs herself and tackling the ladder with only the tiniest bit of help from uncle josh. it was so hard to drag her away, i wish this park was within walking distance of our house, instead of nana's...but it just makes visiting there so much more fun...

toys and fire trucks.

so, this afternoon we were on our way to mike's optomitrist and noticed the ksgn tent.

"let's stop by after you look at your lenses and see if we can get some stickers or something."

"ok."

so we get there and it turns out that they are having a toy drive for the firefighters "spark of love" (i think that's what it was called...). we just happened to have some toys that we had purchased for christmas presents in the car and were excited at the chance to share. the radio-station-woman took some photos of us and we got to give our toys. (we also got some stickers! and hannah got a water bottle.) anyway, the firefighters were coming in their truck to pick up the toys. so, we decided to come back so that hannah could see the truck. she loved it. she got to sit in the cab and run around it and play on the back. it was really cute...but when is something she does not?...

...it got me thinking. how thankful i am for what God has done and is doing in my life. (i tend to get rather introspective this time of year, as opposed to the thanksgiving season...) we are not wealthy by financial standards, we are not successful by society's standards and yet, i feel like we have far exceeded any movie star, politician, professional athlete. God has brought together two best friends to become one. He gave them a part of themselves and Him to take care of. He prepared both of our hearts with the same desires for caring for our family. He provided a job that allows mike to provide financially for us so that i can stay with hannah full-time. He brought us to a church that has welcomed us and shared with us and taught us and blessed us and allowed us to be a part of blessing others. we live in a country where we can go to that church without fear of emprisonment or death. He has blessed us with family that loves Him as passionately as we do, who will help to pass that love on to our daughter. we have a house to live in, a car to drive, a washer and dryer to do our own laundry, money to buy food and pay our bills...it seems like the list goes on and on, but everything really just continues to point not to what we have done but what God has done. i tend to ponder during this time of year, when we are remembering Christ's arrival on earth, not only the fact that He humbled Himself to become man, but what He did as that man. that He left perfection to be yelled at and called names, to be tempted and tired, to be thought of as a lunatic and liar, to heal, to be a teacher, to bring forgiveness, to suffer, to be a savior, to be my savior. not just a baby, but so much more. i am so thankful. i pray that i can continue to look to Him as my anchor, my foundation, my guide. that i will remember that His grace is sufficent for me. for everything.

it rained on saturday night, which made some snow in the nearby mountains, which made the daddy a little bit excited...

see, he loves...loves...LOVES...to go sledding. we took hannah last year and had so much fun, we couldn't wait for the next sledding season...

so, since it is getting a bit colder down here and that means nearby snow, i started looking for some winter duds for the boog. i found these snow bibs at the osh kosh outlet store today. for nine dollars. did i mention they were NINE dollars!! they're navy blue, so they can be passed on to whoever the next sibling might be, not that any sibling is coming any time soon...but anyway...

we are now on the look out for a good snow coat and some boots for stomping around in. can't wait!!!

fun at home depot.

so, these are from a few weeks ago (which is a lot better than i have been doing!). we went to home depot to look for some wood and stuff. hannah went nuts! all of the little things, hanging on hooks right at eye level, just asking to be plucked off the shelf and ran away with! it was so much fun. she looked at christmas decorations with daddy and scoped out the lamp selection.

making dinner.

so, she's helped make smoothies and waffels (she's a pro witht the toaster!), but tonight was her first "real"cooking experience...if you can call microwaving macaroni "real"cooking. but anyway, we had so much fun. she loved stirring the noodles and adding the milk, butter, and cheese. mostly, i think her favorite part was eating it.

i can't believe how much she's grown. the baby is gone. and the little girl is constantly evolving before me. as she gave me a hug tonight before bedtime, i stole a few extra moments of snuggling. with my eyes closed, holding my gigantic, wonderful monster, i remembered those moments from oh-so-long ago when i was so exausted from holding the skinny little baby that she was all day long. but the moment i sat down to rock her to sleep, my strength was renewed and i could have held her all night long...or at least until i fell asleep...but it was amazing. and it is one of those moments i really do miss now that my little booger isn't really all that little anymore. i wouldn't go back. i soo look forward to each new day with her...today she recognised herself in a picture and said "hannah" instead of "baby" like she usually does. instead of just saying "juice" when refering to her cup, she said "hannah juice". i am having a really hard time keeping up. it's awesome.

well. we've been back from texas for a while now. things have been a whirlwind since we got home. mike has been working, like, a zillion hours a week. (it's sooo good that we got to take a vacation when we did...) hannah's been keeping me running on top speed. and i have been getting sucked into the world of myspace. (it's driving me crazy.)
the other day i was on the phone with mike and heard a giggle from behind me...never a good sign...and i turned around to find hannah, buried beneath the puffs plus lotion mountain. giggling away.
i had to stop and laugh. it was so funny. she cracks me up all day long.

VACATION!!!!

well, it took us a little more than a year, but we were finally able to make it out to austin. hannah had a fantastic time on the airplane. she didn't have any problems with her ears at all, which i was worried about because i have problems with mine. she loved looking out of the window and was even able to take a little nap.
grandma and grandpa crocker and auntie jill are having a blast with hannah. she's cracking them up constantly. and she is totally loving the extra amounts of attention. it's just so very nice to be able to visit with them. we had been missing them a lot.
i don't think i'll have any pictures until we get home, but i'll try.

i just couldn't help this one...

so, this is one of my most favourite pictures of the boog.

it is in very close competition with this one:

thanks.

so, it's been a while since my last post. i am doing pretty well. i am not so very good at taking my medicine every day, but i am working much harder to make a concious effort to enjoy every minute of my day. hannah makes that pretty dang easy. although, she contributes heaps to the "making it pretty dang hard" catagory. i digress, she's amazing. not to mention my husband, who regularly works him self to the point of exaustion (big project at work these past few weeks) and then comes home and plays with the booger and helps me clean up the house. man. he is seriously the most amazing guy ever.
so, i was just wanting to say, "thanks, God. my life is truly, truly blessed. and i am totally sorry for being such a poop head."

oh, and here are some pics from a few months ago...the very first birthday and my rad husband.

adventures with hannah

ok, some newer pictures of the boog. but still quite a few months old...i'll get the hang of this one of these days.
first mohawk.
being restrained in the front yard (and looking extremely cute!)
being terribly naughty (and terribly funny)in the guest bathroom at "aunt sarah's" house.

words...

well, i haven't exactly written much here, except for blurbs about the photos i have posted. i am stepping out on a pretty big limb here (although it feels like it's pretty small and fragile), i am not a big fan of writing. it makes my head hurt. and most of the time, i don't feel much better when i'm done. a few days later maybe, but not when i finish.
i have been starting to follow some other "mom blogs" lately and have been really inspired. we'll see how far this burst of inspiration actually takes me...
it's 12:01 am, i should be sleeping. really. my husband is sleeping, my daughter is sleeping (huge smile!) and i am sitting here in front of the screen that makes my head hurt something fierce. i should be sleeping because the kid runs me ragged, like a manaic, who thinks this is the only moment she'll get to run around and get into everything she can possibly wrap her fantastic little mind around. don't get me wrong, she is the most amazing person, in line with my husband and my mother, but this child, this person, came out of me!! that puts her in a whole new category.
i don't want to make this very long...keep it short, don't burn yourself out, ash. i just thought i'd get the ball rolling.
(me giving ball a rather apprehensive push)
i have depression. is that how you say it? it's really the only way that it feels right to say it, for me.it's something that has been a part of me for quite a long time, like late elementary school. it reared it's ugly, and i mean ugly, head a little over 4 years ago. wow. what a roller coaster, but with no coasting, at all. it got a really scary hold on me and took me for a very steep, very dark ride. with the support of my parents (and lots of, "here are your socks, put them on. here are your shoes, put them on.) the direction of my life was able to move on a steady upward plane. over the course of the next three and a half years i have been all ove that ride. up, up, down, up, down, down, down, up, down, up, down...it's a little hard to keep track of now. i just hope for the normal days. i have been unmedicated (not very successful), medicated (much better results), in therapy (semi-productive...), not in therapy (semi-productive...), and just generally frustrated. it is so hard, so hard, to explain to people what is going on with me, the daily struggle. now matter how close i am to them, no matter how much i know they care about me and want to help me. if you haven't lived in this fantastic world, there's nothing to liken it to. nothing that i have run across, anyway.
sleep is approaching, i am waving my arms at it to get it to head in my direction. it seems to be responding to my efforts.
coming soon:
more words, 1st birthday and camping trip photos, and some random photos as well, because dang it, she is the cutest little maniac ever!

we miss jessie!

and josiah, too! we were supposed to go with debra and nehemiah to visit some friends in atascadero, but it was going to be too long of a trip. we had so much fun last time. josiah was a fantastic host. he showed hannah all around his room and shared his toys with her.
we can't wait to see you guys again!

this is my kid!!

she is such a nut. i love her so much, even though sometimes i feel like i am pulling out all of my hair. she really is fantastic.

first trip to the snow!

sorry if this too small to see well. this is hannah and daddy sledding in angelus oaks. (sp?) the little pink spot in the middle is hannah's beanie (on her head.)

we went with hannah's friend mckenna and her parents (our friends), rick and sabina. the babies had a great time in the snow, as did we. we are very much looking forward to next year's sledding season...

hannah's best buddy: nehemiah

this was taken just before we took aunt debra and cousin nehemiah to the airport to go and visit his daddy in north carolina. uncle casey is going to afghanistan for 12 months. we will miss him heaps, but are very proud of him. thanks casey, for sharing your wife and son with us while you are gone.

what a handful!!

aunt debra holding the babies,

hannah and nehemiah,

who are very good buddies. they were both having quite a giggle here.

skinny baby!

hannah with "mr.bunny," her best friend.

...her poor little legs never did quite fill in her onesie :)

first night at home

mom trying to make her feel better. staying warm with dad.

welcome, buddy!

these are some of the earliest pictures of hannah. she was born on may 6th, 2005.
just a few hours old, already the biggest baby in the nursery...she was 8 lbs. 1 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long.
as you can tell, we liked her right away.

hannah's first big trip out

one of our first family photos, at uncle josh's graduation from biola university, may 2005. hannah is 3 weeks old.

merry christmas, friends!

our most recent family photo, christmas 2005. hannah is 7 months old